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Friday, April 14, 2006
Chiongbian: Urinals, coffee and the handicap trio
By EDGAR R. CHIONGBIAN
Tee Time
THE UBS golf tournament for Cebu has come and gone and so, another tournament format is chalked down to experience. The format for this tournament has been ever changing, as if it is on a search for something special worthy of its name.
Yeah and why not? This is one impressive bank many of us can only dream of belonging. I was in Hong Kong recently and saw this beautiful well-dressed young lady pull out a UBS credit card and, to say the least, I was impressed. I couldn’t help but wonder what her credit limit was and who her daddy was!
The big question is whether you like the latest format of three-man scramble? If low scores were what you wanted, you definitely were set up for it and if you didn’t get the low scores, blame your partner. Is it fun? You betcha! You know you will have fun when you can rely on someone to bail you out. And when you get a good shot, there are two guys applauding you as if you were in the Masters. It’s a win-win situation.
This is almost the same format as the card game called Paigow in the casinos, where you can choose the good, better and best card or ball for our purpose. That is why the best handicap combination is that of one low, one mid and one high. The low-handicapper to take care of the score, the high to take care of the handicap and the mid to do the clean up.
But in reality, when it comes to team play, the best person to consider to be your partner is Ruben Almendras. He is a perennial winner, the overall winner in the Zonta golf tournament and a winner in the UBS golf tournament. Another good partner who can get you to the winners circle is Luis Velez. Ben Alfaro could be another guy for you, but he is a little timid about tournaments. Finding a good partner, my friend, is a very simple task to do; just check out who is winning tournaments and that’s the guy you want.
Phil Mickelson got rid of the monkey on his back by winning the 2004 Masters and flung it so far that it is nowhere to be found by winning the 2006 Masters – making it three consecutive majors a year for him. Maybe it’s over at Sergio Garcia’s house.
Augusta National lengthened their course by only 15 to 20 yards on some holes, but that was enough to make the shots from the tee very troublesome. And that may be why the guys on the leaderboard were all the top 10 players of the PGA.
MEN’S ROOM PHYSICS. After I had gone to Hong Kong, a week later I also went to Singapore and there, I realized, there is some connection between coffee orders and men’s rest rooms. It used to be, when you order drinks, it would be either be small or large, but with the advent of high-end coffee, you now order it short, tall or Grande.
To make the story short, when I was in Hong Kong and used the men’s room there, I found that the urinal was so tall and a bit high for Filipinos that some tiptoeing was needed to avoid problems, like your stream hitting the floor. When I went to Singapore, the opposite was the case; their urinals were a bit short for Filipinos (I wonder who they are for) so some flexing of the knees was needed to avoid hitting the top of the urinal and having your stream go all over you. That makes me wonder if there is a standard for these things at all. With this happening in Asia, can you imagine how it is in the countries of big men? Grande? We may be forced to learn to sit while taking a leak, but that is another story.
GOLF TIP. When you are faced with greens that are at sub-par condition, it is important to note that the golf ball always skids a little before it starts to roll. The distance of the skid depends on the force of the hit as determined by the length of the putt.
The tendency for the ball to be deflected is greater when it is skidding, than after it has developed enough inertia to roll end over end. The earlier the ball is knocked off-line, the bigger the error at the end of the putt.
So on greens with spike marks, bare spots and uneven cuts, the idea is to start the ball rolling as early as possible. Place the ball a little forward at address and strike it past the bottom of the putting arc or slightly upswing.
(erc@kyinet.net)
For Bisaya stories from Cebu. Click here. (April 13, 2006 issue)
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